I remember when my mom was still alive she loved to decorate for the holidays. She always had the cutest decorations. I remember the Easter baskets and the little gifts the Easter bunny would leave us. I remember coloring eggs. Those were great memories for the holidays. I always had a fancy dress for company. My mom loved to dress me up and I had the shoes, the dress, and the little purse.  She tried to make a house that was empty and sad seem beautiful and fun. I always loved the Easter pastel colors. It meant spring was here and I could wear my spring dresses and outfits.  She always made sure we celebrated something special. Whenever it was my oldest brothers birthday she would bake a chocolate cake. When it was mine she used to order the most beautiful birthday cakes from one of the best local bakeries. I believe it was Pakula’s.   As years went on my mom seemed very sad and when she passed the holidays were no more. It was like they never existed in the first place and everything was just a dream.  This time my father was in charge and it was not fun at all. We did not do anything for any holiday.  My brother was older and away any my middle brother was a in a group home for extreme special needs people.  It was  really sad to see that the house I had moved to had no memories of fun. It was just emptiness and darkness and all of holidaysI spent alone in my room. The decorations were most likely thrown out and the memories were temporary lost. I began to write a lot even as early as first grade before she passed.  I used to love to share my stories and my art with my mom. She even made me a book that thankfully was not lost . It had all of my art in it. I remember all of the stuff that I drew.  I do not have a lot from my mom but i have that book and I am grateful.  I thought if i ever get married I will have my kids decorate and have fun just like I did as a kid. I will never have them sit alone in their room like I did.  Fast forward years later my kids have colored eggs, we decorate, and we always celebrate as a family. I am so happy I found the light and I want happy memories for my kids.  They always get an Easter basket had fancy dresses, and we celebrate together. I do not want the bad history to repeat itself I want the memories of my mom to carry on through me and my kids. All holidays were celebrated and I will continue to spread the good and the happiness. Now onto the next life lesson.