Month: March 2020

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today my father would have been 86 years young.  This is the first time I cannot call him and wish him a Happy Birthday. I cannot send him a funny card . All I can do is write this blog and tell you I miss him.  I cannot believe at the end of this month it will be a year. I will never forget that phone call on that Sunday morning. “Your father passed away at 6:19 in the morning.” Her name was Kathy.  Which made it even more real. My Dad was a very smart man but a complicated man. I will not get into that on his birthday. I will tell you that in his memory we will be eating chocolate ice cream for dessert.  He loved chocolate ice cream so why not do something fun in his memory.  So today I will think of my Dad and all the things that made him smile.  Politics, the Celtics, the Patriots, the Giants, Alfredo’s, anchovies, herring, and his grandchildren, his sister, M, S, D, and K.  Maybe not in that order but you get the idea. Happy Birthday Dad in Heaven. I am sure you are with M dancing away. Rest in peace.  Now onto the next life lesson.

Look Alike

Has anyone ever told you that you look just like someone they know? Do you have a twin? I have been in that situation a few times. I guess I just have that face. Or it could be that you have similar mannerisms to someone else. I think your look alike is called a doppelganger. I think we all have someone that looks like us somewhere in the world.    We see people that remind us of others or of ones that have passed on.   Have people told you that you look like someone they know?  We have all heard that someone looks like you.  It is amazing how someone can look so much like someone without being related.    We may look alike but each and everyone of us has our own unique finger print.  It is a sure way to identify who is who in the case of a look alike.  Who would you want to look like if you could look like anyone? Would you want someone to look just like you? We all unique in personality and style. We have our own thoughts and beliefs.  It is just that we may share the same face as someone else.  There was one time I met the girl they said looked like me and neither of us thought we looked like the other. I was actually mistaken for her once or twice.  We all see ourselves a certain way. Others may see it differently.  Maybe one day you will meet your look alike if you have not already. Now onto the next life lesson.

The Listener

We all have a handful of people that we can trust to talk to. Or maybe you are like me and it is just one or two people. It is hard to trust people sometimes. I always go with my gut and think can I trust this person? Either way, it is good to talk to someone about your feelings. It is also good to the listener.  As I said we all need someone to talk to and someone to listen to us.  I have one consistent listener for the past eleven months. It has helped to talk to someone about losing my Dad. I know my friends understand  but this person and we will call them B understands more. B has been great and I appreciate all of the advice and time I am given. My time is almost up with B but that is okay it served it’s purpose and soon I have to learn to be on my own with this.

My Dad is gone and the last stage of grieving is acceptance.   Yes, I have accepted he is gone. There is no going back and fixing anything. It is just marching on and feeling stronger every day. It is living my life and taking care for the living. It is knowing I can and I will.

It is time to concentrate on the future and putting the past behind me. It is time to focus on me. It is time for ME.  I am not being selfish I am just learning that being sad will not mend things and will not bring him back. It will not change anything.  It is up to me to look to the future and do something . To anyone that lost anyone live your life, do fun things, love your loved ones,  smile and laugh.  Of course you can grieve that is a part of the process but remember you are among the living and you need to live.

Now onto the next life lesson.

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