Month: March 2018 Page 1 of 3

Come along I’ll take you to the lullaby of Broadway

I remember my mom and her friend who use to take her daughter and me into NYC  to see Broadway shows. My mother loved Broadway. I remember all the people dressed up and the crowded streets and siting in those velvet seats waiting for the stars to come out . We used to go into the city on Saturdays. I sat through many performances.  The singing, dancing, and the costumes simply brought so much excitement and fun to the Saturdays that we used go. She would tell me we needed to look our best. This meant to wear a pretty dress, matching shoes, and a purse if necessary. My mom loved to wear make up and get dressed up. She always looked so beautiful.  We used to go with her friend we will call J and her daughter we will call K.  We saw the greatest shows and we all enjoyed them. We went to see 42nd Street, Peter Pan, Annie, and a few others I cannot recall. I think Annie was my favorite. I think we had just missed the original Annie Andrea McCardle.  It was Alison Smith.  She was fantastic.  I remember as a kid loving  these shows. I enjoyed spending time with my mom.  We didn’t have to do anything except spend time together. Then when a local theater opened up in our area we started to go there to see the shows and they were just as amazing as Broadway because the stars were from the movies and the stage.  I remember seeing Fiddler on the Roof with Theodore Bikel, and The Sound of Music with Farley Granger.  I actually met them both they were very nice.  This was the mother daughter bonding time I cannot get back it was one of the happiest memories I have of her and I. Oh and how can I forget the annual trip to Lincoln Center to see the Nutcracker.  Now that was by far the BEST! I loved those times we were happy.  The ballet was breathtaking! There is nothing else like it. It was true ballet and the real thing. You cannot get any better than NYC when it comes to the talent, the shows, the food, and the culture.  I wish I could freeze time back then and just stay with her going from show to show. I think they are right they say NYC there isn’t any other place like it. Now onto the next life lesson.

Easter Memories

I remember when my mom was still alive she loved to decorate for the holidays. She always had the cutest decorations. I remember the Easter baskets and the little gifts the Easter bunny would leave us. I remember coloring eggs. Those were great memories for the holidays. I always had a fancy dress for company. My mom loved to dress me up and I had the shoes, the dress, and the little purse.  She tried to make a house that was empty and sad seem beautiful and fun. I always loved the Easter pastel colors. It meant spring was here and I could wear my spring dresses and outfits.  She always made sure we celebrated something special. Whenever it was my oldest brothers birthday she would bake a chocolate cake. When it was mine she used to order the most beautiful birthday cakes from one of the best local bakeries. I believe it was Pakula’s.   As years went on my mom seemed very sad and when she passed the holidays were no more. It was like they never existed in the first place and everything was just a dream.  This time my father was in charge and it was not fun at all. We did not do anything for any holiday.  My brother was older and away any my middle brother was a in a group home for extreme special needs people.  It was  really sad to see that the house I had moved to had no memories of fun. It was just emptiness and darkness and all of holidaysI spent alone in my room. The decorations were most likely thrown out and the memories were temporary lost. I began to write a lot even as early as first grade before she passed.  I used to love to share my stories and my art with my mom. She even made me a book that thankfully was not lost . It had all of my art in it. I remember all of the stuff that I drew.  I do not have a lot from my mom but i have that book and I am grateful.  I thought if i ever get married I will have my kids decorate and have fun just like I did as a kid. I will never have them sit alone in their room like I did.  Fast forward years later my kids have colored eggs, we decorate, and we always celebrate as a family. I am so happy I found the light and I want happy memories for my kids.  They always get an Easter basket had fancy dresses, and we celebrate together. I do not want the bad history to repeat itself I want the memories of my mom to carry on through me and my kids. All holidays were celebrated and I will continue to spread the good and the happiness. Now onto the next life lesson.


Yes ever once in a great while we get our victory! We have that moment that we won and we won big! Those are the moments we want to hold onto we want to set the tone for others that anything is possible! Anyone that does not have a special needs child may not understand but to us that do it is that sweet smell of victory that tells is all things are possible! We do not care about YOU or your rules we want our kids to have EXACTLY what they need and do you know what else YOU need to be accountable. You need to know that we will NEVER STOP fighting for our kids. Our kids are your future so you better open the gates of possibility and step aside because we matter and we have a voice . Then after going round after round after round knowing we are going to be world champions well that is priceless.  Ladies and Gentleman of education we have a winner and we plan on keeping our winning streak! Let them out let the voices out !  Victory taste pretty good right about you know and to my dear friend who just had her victory you ROCK!!!  You are the voice of victory!!! Now onto the next life lesson

The gifts

We all have our talents.  Each of us has  a strength that we can expand on. You could be an artist or a singer. You could be a great mathematician. It could be anything that you are good at. There is always something in us that makes us who we are. You could be a great writer, or poet. You just have find that something if you have not already.  I call them gifts. They are gifts that we are born with and we should use them to the fullest. Life itself is a gift. We have to make every moment count and believe in ourselves. If we don’t than we will have regrets.  It is hard to live with that. We all have them but sometimes we get a second chance and we find other gifts within ourselves and then we can share our gifts and teach others who want to find their talent. Sometimes it takes someone to show someone that they are good at something. Some of us  are just naturaly born with talents and that is a true gift.  It is something to be thankful for.  There are a few of us out there that have many gifts. Please use your gifts expand on your talent and know that you are appreciated and loved. You have your whole life to learn more about your gifts so go out there and show the world that you are a true gift.  Hear the applause and see the standing ovations. That is for you !  You have discovered your love and your talent. Be the that person with no regrets and know that you are the gift.  Now onto the next life lesson

Many Rounds

It almost felt like I went 100 rounds with Mike Tyson after an IEP meeting at the school . Why do they torture the parents and why do they not care about the kids? It is never about the kids I do not care what they say. It is about one thing and that is money. How much money can we get for our school? It is disgusting and must change. I think they suits running the BOE need to be fired.  Exactly like in the private sector you need to be held accountable! One of my favorite words.  They only do what is best for themselves and not the child. I think it is time the parents become more powerful than the school board. I think some bus company would make alot of money if we chartered buses of parents to the main land ( that is what I will call it)  Now maybe things would change! Or have parents run for the school board especially ones that could represent the ones that need a voice! How about that?  We need it folks ! Some of these teachers need to be held accountable! Now it is not all teachers just so happens some of the winners we have dealt with. One teacher said to me she doesn’t answer emails after 4:30 well  hello my kid gets home at 4. WOW and you get a way with that? Shame on you lady! We have had some liars and  scum. It was our last year where we used to live and I hired a real shark advocate. Things started to change but this time I had to change them.  I took the first step and changed my life and it has been better. I  am part of a mom team that is talking with administration about the current teacher and how she is not teaching.  They are listening but they need to listen better and take action.  WHAT do WE have to do to WIN? Please tell me and if you are reading this and you are and advocate or a special education lawyer or someone studying law that needs the hours please  message me! ONLY if you are someone with the above mentioned. I want to know.  I have spoken with an advocate but We want more! We have asked for nothing unreasonable. I want my daughter to receive the education she deserves!  So if I have any followers please contact me. SERIOUS ONLY! I will share my story in more detail once you have contacted me. Lets do it for the kids for real! Make a difference and CUT RED TAPE!!! Let’s make school great again!!! Now onto the next life lesson

The Big Change

Wow! We had vacationed on the west coast of Florida before my husband and I got married and we loved it. He was sold on living there one day. I was comfortable right where I was.  I had no desire to leave the east coast.  In 1999 we got married and we lived in a townhouse in NJ. We had gone down to the west coast of Florida again for a vacation and he was sold on moving.  We went to a new construction area where they were building villas. We saw the models and we liked them. Before I could truly process anything we put down a deposit. I was scared. I just thought what I had done? Did I really want to move so far away from what was so familiar? I did not like change. My husband was like a band  aid you just rip it off and it was done. So in the next few weeks or so we put our townhouse on the market. We had no kids yet it was just him and me so whatever was next was our journey for now.  He was excited and I was sad.  We sold the townhouse and off we were to Southwest Florida where my first daughter was born.  It was not easy I did not like the area everyone seemed old and not one young person in site. I did work at a bank full time and then when I had my daughter it went to part time and eventually I was home with her. His parents had decided to make a move down here as well, Which had its good points and bad. A little to close for comfort.   Soon his career was taking off and we had to move to the East coast of Florida.   We settled there for about 12 years. We lived in a one story and then we decided to grow our family and find something bigger. I had my own space now and it was time for baby number two.  A few years later my second daughter came along and now we were a family of four. I would not trade for the world. After 12 years we slowly got tired of the hustle and a bustle , A few school battles did not help either when I could not get what was best for my first born. We had actually vacationed in North Florda. Bingo that was it I was sold this time. I loved it. There was something peaceful about it. It was just something I cant explain it but it was something maybe it reminded me of being up North back home. It made things easier i guess so there were trying to sell our newly renovated east coast home which seemed like it took a lifetime but it was sold and gone and we had a brand new home build here in North Florida I even drove up myself with the girls and I was proud of myself. I think for the first time I sensed a fresh start and it took getting used to and finding the things I needed but I am very proud to call it home. It took a long time to get used to Florida. I love it here where we are and so does my family. I have all the things that matter most. Now onto the next life lesson.

Let there be light

This  had not happened since I was kid where the neighborhood comes together to celebrate.  The community comes together and people are laughing, talking. eating. listening to the great music and simply enjoying life.  Friends and neighbors making friends and being a part of a community.  It is the simple life and it is new to me. I am used to coming home and having my family chores and minding my own business. Maybe that is part of the reason I have been afraid of fun.  I never thought after how I grew up I was even allowed to be included.  When I was little my mom passed and after that holidays were banished. I watched neighbors and friends gather and have fun and I never was allowed.  I was told not to bother them. do not bother them, do not go there, do not do anything just sit in your room.  Wow is that what life was supposed to be? Needless to say it was dysfunctional and ridiculous but it is the gospel truth. I remember those days that are engraved in m brain. I just accepted it and let things be as they were.  I often heard about the gatherings, the food, and the fun. No one asked me about my holiday maybe they just knew not too. Now thirty something years later I still have those images and for the first time in along time I had fun. Yes, I had fun and no one was going to tell me not too. I have always felt like someone’s prisoner chained to their command. Last night the chains were off but now the party is over and life is back to normal.  I do not want sympathy or a medal I just want to find that peace. I still have that underlying feeling I am not allowed to laugh or have fun.  I do not like to talk about it and I won’t. I began writing stories at a very young age it was my way of escaping the clutches of darkness. I could be whoever I wanted, go where ever I wanted and no one could say a word.  The more I wrote the better I felt.  Still the shadows haunt me. Maybe one day they will be gone I am not sure when but at least there is some light. I had fun and someone even told me it was nice to see me having so much fun. I almost did not know who they were talking about but I know it was me.  I have deep scars and images that may never go away but as time goes on the wounds will heal.  Fun is allowed and I know that but it is still hard to believe I was not chained to darkness and forbidden of fun.  We can move forward one day at a time. Now onto the next life lesson.

Mind, Body, and Soul

Are you complete? Do you feel like you are strong? Are you aware of your surroundings? Do you know what you want in life? How do we know what we want? I think we seek interests in things that we like. Some of us want to learn culinary, build things. sing for the world, or just make it look pretty. We have that soul and that mind to do what makes us who we are.  Our minds are so powerful and our souls seek the love that we need so  much to carry on. To those lost souls I hope you find peace, love, and life.  You body needs love, care and life to enjoy and prosper. We need the tough to make us strong, we need the good to make us kind, we need the love to give our hearts.  For some we need the help, we need the listeners and the right path to follow and when are on it we can continue to go in the right direction. Keep going because you got this. You have Body, Mind and Soul.  Spread it around and know that when you spread the good you make more life . Life is beautiful now live it and believe it. Now onto the next life lesson.

Behind the scenes

People for the most part walk around with just their on the go face. No one really smiles. I wonder what goes on behind the scenes what is their story?  Why are they looking so sad? Did they lose a loved one? Did they just lose their job? What is the real story? What goes on behind the scenes? It is really none of our business but as humans we are naturally curious.  People hide behind their phones or laptops. What are they looking at social media, texts. pictures of loved ones? Where are the people of my generation that sat and talked in person? We had no social media growing up and you know what it was GREAT! We talked to each other we laughed and had fun we played outside with the neighborhood kids.  We were acknowledging each other.  A foreign concept now. I see people out to dinner on their phones sometimes whole families it is sad if you ask me.  I wish for today’s generation and future ones that people take the time to talk and to get know each other and learn from one another. So stop hiding, and faking it and look up you might notice something beautiful! Believe me it is a beautiful world if you make it that way.  Now onto the next life lessson


Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe you can achieve your goals in life? How certain are you? If you believe enough you can do anything. You have the power and the control. You are the one that can make it happen.  You have to BELIEVE!  Believe enough in yourself that you can conquer anything.  Do not let anyone tell you different. Do not listen to those words You can’t.  You can and you will.  Who says you can’t?  They are not the people cheering you on they are people putting you down. Get away from them. Join the people that believe. I know you can do it. Do you know you can? Put yourself first and know that you do it.  The negative can be strong and overpowering don’ t let it.   I got trapped there and it is not fun. I have been with the ones that say you can’t and you will don’t know anything. After awhile you believe that instead of what you are really capable of.  Some escape while others give up. DO NOT give up. If you can stand up and rise and be proud than you got this. Be the one that makes the difference.  Ignore the ones that say no .  Live the life that you are capable of living.  Do not let anyone dictate to you.  Take a chance, believe and run with it.  Go ahead grab your chance before it is to late. You have to BELIEVE!! Now onto the next life lesson.

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