Do you have a brother or a sister? Do you get along ? Are you close? Do you live near each other? I have two older brothers. I have mentioned my middle brother before in other blogs. He is severely special needs. My oldest brother is the brilliant son as I call him. Why do I call him that? One simple reason he is brilliant and he is my Dad’s son. He and I also have not spoken in 22 years until recently. Our father is very ill as you read in my previous blog called the Aging Parent. It took my father getting ill for my oldest brother and I to speak. He is up there trying to take care of things. We are all in the same boat and we are experiencing the unknown. I do not like the unknown. What is next? How do you handle it? Well thank goodness I know the wisest and the kindness woman in the world. I spoke to my best friends Mom we will call her Mom O. You read that right that is what I call her and I do not call anyone Mom except when my Mom was alive but this special lady deserves it. I spoke and she listened. She pin pointed everything and knew exactly what to say and she gave me the best advice. I will not tell you exactly what she said but I will say having faith and prayer are a huge part of it. I saw a saying the other day that read If you put God first you always win. I believe that with all of my heart. I was never religious but the past few years I have spoken to God quite a bit. Now I am not telling you to drop everything and start to pray. What you do is your business. I will continue to pray for what I feel. I am realistic and I know the outcome. I just pray we find out why. For the first time ever my brother spoke to me like an adult but for a split second that brother to little sister came out of him and he said. “It does not look good I want you to understand that” I said. I am well aware of that. I wanted him to know I know. I just want what everyone wants answers and peace. Mom O said something else she said something like the words you need to say are simple to this difficult situation. I want to thank Mom O for her wisdom and faith. I want her to know I love her very much. If you have a sibling and you are close go hug them. If you have not spoken to your sibling than pick up the phone. I hope that you make peace. Again something so simple for such an intense situation. I will have faith and I will put God first. Now onto the next life lesson.
Month: February 2019 Page 1 of 2
I have only been through the sudden death of a parent. I had no time to prepare. My mom was gone and she was not coming back. All I have had since I was eleven years old was my father. Now as you know in previous blogs it was not easy living with him as an almost teenager. It was not ever easy living with him. At the time he had someone we will call M. M was his soulmate I was convinced of it. I knew he loved her and she loved him. Then one day M got sick and suffered for a long while and then one February am she passed away. It ws February 22, 2013. I was in the car line picking up the kids when my Dad told me. So Mom is gone and now it was M. My Dad was always strong and sharp. I can’t say was yet because he is still with us. However, he is aging and in his own words failing. It is hard for me because I have never been through this myself. How do you handle an aging parent? Can anyone offer advice? What about after they are gone? How do you handle that ? I know grief is a process. I know it has stages. I never thought about my Dad not being here. He has such an interesting presence. I won’t get into it. I just want him to be okay. Dad is tough. He never had to rely on anyone at least not since he was a baby. He was always the leader and the one that cared for everyone else. I guess that is where him being a doctor comes from. We have had our share of family situations but it all comes down to this he is still my father. As a doctor I respect him and that is how I see him as a doctor. If I ever have a question he is just a phone call away. If you are reading this just have a good thought or prayer. However you choose. How do you deal with an aging parent? I wish I knew. The one good thing is you have time to prepare. I don’t how to prepare for this. I need my Dad. As I said no matter what he is my Dad. Do me a favor tell the ones you love you love them. Hug your parents and your kids. Tell them you love them everyday. Now onto the next life lesson.
Do you worry a lot? Do you get anxious when things hang over your head? Or are you carefree and go with the flow? Do you like change? Are you a routine person? I can tell you I am a routine person to the core. I am not a fan of change but I do adjust. To top it off I am a worrier not about everything only about important things. I always wondered how to be carefree. How do people walk around and just not have a plan or a schedule. Maybe I am to routine oriented. I cannot live any other way. My kids have routines and I follow a long with them. Right now and probably for a very long time they will be. It is just something to accept in life. I feel the most relaxed when I am working on my book or writing in this blog. I love to write and I write well. What do you worry about? Do you like change? I want to know your thoughts. Please comment. I would love to know. Maybe we can help each other. Are you carefree? Do you go with the flow? What is that like? You always wonder what the other side is like? Is it better is it worse? I think whatever you are you just need to be happy and kind. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Do not burn bridges . Look out for yourself and be very careful of people that just use you for something. I teach my girls to be vigilant. It hurts to be used and left out in the cold. You worry it will happen again if it happened once. People do not change unless they are forced to change. Surround yourself with good people. Your anxiety will go way down. Remember you get one life make the most of it. Now onto the next life lesson.
Lately things have been a little stressful. I have asked for prayers and I know God is listening I just feel I am at an endless deli counter or doctors office waiting and waiting. Yesterday I spoke to the Commander and for the first time ever it was calm , honest, and peaceful. I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. It was never easy living with him and everything else I had gone through. For about 15 minutes I had peace. I had a small part of what I was praying for. When I am ready to tell you the whole story I will but for now just now a small prayer of mine was answered. I guess one sandwich or patient at at time. Now we have a sense of peace I can always keep with me. I know have some answers. Do you have peace? Do you have answers? Are you scared to find them? Do you have it in you to find the answers? If you do I hope you find them if you chose not to that is okay to. As long as you have peace. You can never put a price peace. Now onto the next life lesson.
The question is simple but the answer may be hard. Can you make a decision without changing your mind? Can you make a decision and stick to it? Are you afraid to decide something ? Is it a scary decision to make? I hope it is simple like picking out your clothes for the next day. I used to change my mind about what I was going to wear I find that when I think about it a little more than I make my final decision. I decide what to make for dinner without changing my mind. I have definitely gotten better about making a decision. My girls used to wear uniforms to school you had no choice that is what you wore , Now they no longer wear uniforms but whatever they pick out they wear. I think that helped them make a decision. They thought about it and picked out their clothes and that is what the outfit of the day is. Sometimes decisions need more thought like the ones that start with What should I do? Where am I going? Will I find a job?
Do you give a lot of compliments? Do you get a lot of compliments? Do you like what others have? Perhaps you see a nice purse or a dress on a woman would you compliment her on it? Or would you just admire it from a far? I think it is nice to compliment someone it really makes their day. You do not know what someone is going through and you could be the one to make them smile. You could make a difference just by saying. “Excuse me, I love your purse” Or I love your dress. Or maybe you want to compliment a man on his suit/ Excuse me Sir. “Your suit is very sharp” Those are usually custom made. I enjoy making people feel good. I love looking at kids outfits 99% of the time I know where they bought it. I just have that knack. I consider it a gift. I know we all have different taste and we are not going to like everything but certain things do look good one some people and other times I often wonder if they got dressed in the dark. If they are happy I guess that is all that matters. Happiness is hard to come by I wish it was more contagious. I just want people to smile more and spread kindness. If you can take time out to compliment someone today. You never know the difference you will make. Now onto the next life lesson.
Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti day. It is also the middle of the week, It is my most hectic day. It also has two of my favorite things I listen to this podcast done by two actors from my long time favorite soap General Hospital, I love this show and I have been watching since I was eight years old thanks to two of my babysitters. Steve Burton and Bradford Anderson talk about all kinds of things NOT politics. It is a nice escape to listen to their guests and their stories everyone has a story I love to hear it. Also, my friend on social media always shares her True Story and they are GREAT! She should write a book I keep telling her. Wednesday I drive my daughter to work pick her up and then come home and make dinner. Sometimes we go out it is very challenging having dinner ready on time but I do it. I enjoy taking care of my family it is was I do best aside from writing. What is your most hectic day? Do you cook, or order in, or go out? Do you commute a long distance? Wouldn’t it be nice to have a hot meal waiting for you? Let me know what you do I would love to hear. Carry on and let the day begin. Now onto the next life lesson.
Hello and can you believe it was one year ago yesterday that I started this blog? Yes, it has been one year of my blogs. I have written so many entries in the past year. Happy ones, sad ones, funny ones. I do not even know which one is my favorite. Which one do you like the best? Are you a fan? Do you read them everyday? If so I want to know which one is your favorite. I must say I have enjoyed writing each and every day for the past year. Have you learned anything from what I have written? Did I write well? Did I peak your curiosity? I have written about so many different topics from family to money to friends to the holidays. It has been a lot of fun sharing with you. I hope you are enjoying my blog as much as I am enjoying writing in it. Thank you to the faithful readers and the new readers for giving me a chance. It means a lot to me that you take the time whenever you have the chance and read to read my blog. What are your hobbies and interests? What do you like to do? Are you a scrapbook person, Do you garden? What do you plant? Do you paint or draw or do you belong to a book club? Whatever it is you do I hope you enjoy it. Thank you again and I cannot believe it has been a year. Happy Anniversary Mindful Mom. Now onto the next life lesson.
Twenty years ago today I walked down the isle to marry my husband. My Uncle gave me away and I was grateful for that. My father refused to go because I was getting married in a church and we are not of that faith. I offered many compromises but he still refused. To this day it still hurts me. I can never have a day with total joy. I told him a little before the wedding this exact quote “You are the only parent I have left and if you do not come I will never forgive you.” I can still picture our conversation in the kitchen at his house. After all the stress and aggravation the people that loved me and that mattered were there for me. We said our vows we incorporated both religions in a beautiful way. Many guests and friends complimented us and I will never forget that. I will always be grateful to those who stood by our sides at the alter. I will be forever grateful to the Deacon and the priest. The ceremony would not have been complete without my niece yelling “Nona I am very angry at you” It really made me laugh thanks IFF. LOL. Of course I cannot forget my other niece her sister VSF with the nookie in the mouth smiling at me walking around. They were the best flower girls in the whole world. Never a dull moment but I will not change anything. It has been quite a roller coaster ride. Many stories for many blogs if I chose . How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Do you have a Valentine ? What are your traditions? Maybe you were a Valentine bride too. I would love to know your stories. We have had many ups and downs however, it just makes us stronger. Happy Valentine’s Day to all my readers. Now onto the next life lesson.
Every so often you hear I saw someone that looked just like you or this person reminded me so much of you. I cannot believe how much you look like my friend. Sure we have been told we all have a twin somewhere. Someone that looks like us. Back in High School I was told I looked like this girl that everyone knew. I met her and did not think that we looked like alike at all. I guess others saw differently. I did see a woman one time at a restaurant that looked exactly like a friend of the family. Even my youngest thought it was her. I could not believe the resemblance. It was uncanny. Maybe we do have a twin somewhere that looks and acts like we do. I see people that look like people I know especially have they have passed. It is eerie sometimes. One time we saw a woman at a park and she looked exactly like my husbands cousin Antoinette. It was like she was saying hi from above. She was a good soul. Do you have a twin? Have you ever seen someone that looks or looked like someone you know? I bet it brought back memories. I believe it is that person from the past reaching out as an angel telling you all will be okay hang in there. I believe in angels and people watching over us. When you see someone that looks like a loved one just smile at them. They are your angel watching out for you. We all have someone that reminds us of someone when we meet them. Twins are out there. The angel ones will find you when you need them. Now onto the next life lesson.