Month: March 2019 Page 1 of 2

The last goodbye

You were on this earth to care for a special group of people. You worked hard all of your life and took care of your family. You were your own person. You did things how you wanted. You lived your life. Even though at times we were strained I still had love and respect for you. You lived 85 years and that is a long life to live. You cared for the sick, you gave people advice, you came from nothing and made something of yourself. You made the American dream happen. You will never be forgotten. You are always in my heart. Dad, I love you but now you are at peace. Today at 6:19 am my father Dr. O passed away. He is with God and those he loves. Dr. Bombay saffire has signed off. 3/4/1934 til 3/31/2019. Forever in my heart. Now go keep heaven great again. Love you,Dad XO

I love you,Dad

Yesterday afternoon I had my brother put the phone to my Dad’s ear I said,I love you he replied ,” I love you,goodbye” Those words will forever be embedded in my heart. It will not be long before he is with God. I just can’t believe he is dying like this. This time I have time to grieve. This time I said goodbye. I never really had that chance with my mom. What happens next? What do I do? I just want him to be at peace. How do people do it? How do you grieve? Have you lost a loved one? Keep your sense of humor. Now onto the next life lesson.

Growing up

Last night was open house for incoming 6th graders for middle school. My youngest is going to middle school. How did this happen? The little girl I used to sing itsy bitsy spider too. How they grow in the blink of an eye. Thank God I am not doing it alone and not to mention this is my second round. So in away it’s easier. My friend will call her R I can help her along the way. I know in my heart she will be just fine. It is a little different because they in a ESE class setting. They get more help and the work is geared to their level. I know you don’t understand that if you have a main stream child that’s ok only we need to know the mom’s that go through this every day. I think everyone needs to be made aware of people on the spectrum. Most closed their eyes and think it will go away. Some stare at others during meltdowns. Get over yourself all kids have meltdowns. We are not all the same. I don’t want to be the same. I just want peace and my kids to be happy, healthy, and safe. If I can get all of that then it’s a good life to have. Any of you have kids starting middle school? Good luck to you. Just tell them be nice being popular doesn’t matter. You don’t need it for a job or to get married. Carry on and be kind. Maybe the first day of school your future best friend may need a pen. Now onto the next life lesson.

Little things

There are so many little things we forget about that mean so much. The little things people do for us. Or the little things that keep us going like a cup of coffee, or a ride to school or work. Lunch out with a friend to talk to. Anything anyone can do to make life easy. It’s the little things. Bring someone a meal or sit and listen to a friend. All of those things add up to one big thing. Someone doing something for someone without even asking. Just knowing things are done because people want to help. Look for the givers and the helpers. They are out there. They are the people that want to be there for you. God is good and he knows who they are. He will send you help when you need it. God bless the helpers and the little things we need. Now onto the next life lesson.


As a mom my whole life feels timed and it is. I am on a schedule. Unless you have kids you simply do not understand why everything is timed. It is timed because everything needs to get done on time and on the mom schedule. This schedule is sacred and if you run just a minute late your whole day is thrown off. I am sure comedians have their fun with this. All that is fine I could use a laugh. I have everything down to a science from the wake up to the drop off. I even squeeze in a workout. What is your daily routine? Are you timed? Are you organized? Go ahead make jokes and make fun but I guarantee you I can out organize you any day. I get up at 4:30 to start my routine. Prepare back packs, vitamins, make breakfast, and empty the dishwasher if need be. Plus write in my blog, and wake up kids, and do my workout. Imagine that! All that time timed. Schedules, organization, and mom effort. I would say my kids are very fortunate. I even drive them to school. It is OUR time to talk and have some one on one time. Do you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the 🌏. What’s on your schedule? Are you timed? Now onto the next life lesson.

Are you envious?

Do you want what others have? Are you a jealous person? Are you happy with what you have? I am not jealous of anyone. I am grateful for the people in my life and the things I own. Notice I said own. I owe nothing. If I can’t afford it I don’t buy it. I do not believe in loans unless it’s an emergency. I believe in paying your bills and being responsible. I do not live beyond my means. I am content are you? Do you want to change your lifestyle? Are you happy? Do you always want to be envious? If any of these are yes than maybe you need to re think your life choices. Just something to think about. Wouldn’t you rather have peace than envy? It is definitely calmer being at peace. Go ahead make a change let me know how at peace you are. Now onto the next life lesson.

Home Sweet Home

Hello readers and fans! I am so happy to be home and unpacked. I feel like I have been away way to long. It’s okay though I had to see my Dad. I am happy that I did I would not have it any other way. I missed my puppy. She knows I am sad and is so snuggly with me. I am blessed and grateful to have such a beautiful family. We need some positive thoughts and prayers. I know the outcome and I am sad. My Dad is a good man. He lived his life to the fullest. He is weak and tired. I am mentally exhausted from it all. Always tell the one you love you love them. Put God first and love your family. Now into the next life lesson.

I’m coming home

After 5 days back in the northeast we are headed back home. I could not be happier. Except I am not. I am sad my Dad is dying I feel like I should be there more. I do not want him to be alone. I know he is lonely. He thanked me for coming and bringing him food. There is no need to thank me. He doesn’t have to do anything. He just has to be my Dad. Even though he is dying I can still have the memories. It was hard walking out of hospice yesterday. I took my time and gave one last glance. One last hug. Despite it all he is my Dad and I love him very much. Nothing in the past matters. Life will go on but it will not be the same. I will go and pick up the phone and realize I can’t call him anymore. I will make the most of it while I still can. I know in my heart I did the right thing. You want to know a secret he is my hero. I hope he knows that. Now onto the next life lesson

The Now

Here is the now. Now it is just a matter of time before it is the last time I see my Dad. I know the where, how,and why. Usually I don’t. When my mom died I only knew the where. I knew nothing else . Years later I found out the how and had to relive that pain all over again. Was that fair? Now it will be a different process . It will be grieving and processing the how and the why. It won’t be in years it will be all at once. It is hard to come to terms with all of this. I will get through this. I have my family, good friends, and faith in God. I ask God every day please put it in your hands. God is listening The Now is I am here and here is now. Now is just for now. Later is another story. I have a story. Do you? Of course you do we all do. It began with two people who created this family. The family fell apart and dysfunction spread like an epidemic. The rest is history. You know some of the in betweens. We close the chapter on that a long time ago. The pain, the yelling, the dysfunction is over. It is all in the now. The now and the later. Now onto the next life lesson

The Drive

Have you ever taken a long trip? Did you drive,fly or take a train? Was it business or pleasure? Were you visiting someone? You can do a lot of thinking on a drive. Taking a trip can clear your head. We are taking a trip. We are going to see my Dad. He is terminally ill. I am anxious to see him. I keep thinking that we are going to his house. When we are going to hospice. I am just so sad by all of this. It has been difficult wrapping my head around everything. Have you ever made a trip to see an ailing parent? What did you experience? Did you get to say goodbye? Did you feel better? What advice if any do you have? You want you know a secret? I put everything in God’s hands. I pray and I have faith. I am not expecting miracles . I understand the reality. I know the how and the why. How am I going to deal with the loss? Grieving is a process. Again, I believe in God and leave it in his hands. I ask only that I get to say goodbye. I thank God and I know he is all around. Do you believe? I am not religious and believing never hurt. So put your hands together and pray he is listening. Thank you. Now onto the next life lesson.

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