Month: November 2019

A second set of ears

As you may know grief is tough and it comes it different stages. Everyone’s grief is different and how we handle it is different.  You do not realize it but your whole life is involved in your grief.  It is how you go about your day, how you think, and what you say.  All of these things are piled into the grieving process.  Since my Dad passed I have been going to bereavement counseling and then my counselor left and I was crushed because I thought oh great another change.  BUT then I met the next person and at first I wasn’t sure but yesterday I realized so many things I had not thought about. We will call him B. B is my second set of ears I guess you would say and he listened and told me some things that made a lot of sense. I explained how lately there are the little things that make me think about my  Dad and not even realized it before. For example, A friend told me that her son was sick and could be mono I thought immediately how when I had it in high school what great care my dad took of me when I had it. Then she mentioned how she had Chinese food and  I thought about how my Dad used to take us to this great place back in NY. Little things that bring back memories. Do you have memories of a loved one? How have you dealt with grief?  I was watching a movie last night and one of the actors always reminded me of M’s grandson and that was a memory. I told B about the mono one but the others were after I had left.  I also mentioned how I had been invited to something and how in the past when it came to holidays after my mom had passed he just told me to sit in my room.  To this day It takes me a while to do something social and he made me realize if I over analyze and not go then I will become more self conscious. I decided to go.  So I guess putting one foot forward and one day at time is okay.  Now onto the next life lesson.

Are you early, late or on time?

Are you  on time or  late? Or perhaps you are  early. I like to be a little early this way I have time to gather what I need to be on time. If I have an appointment I am  early this way I have time if there is any paperwork.  If I am late anywhere I feel like my whole day just fell apart lucky for me I am not late. I am very organized and I am proud of that. However, there is one drawback I feel like that is all I think about it how to be efficient and plan things that I forgot how to enjoy things. I feel like I  spend so much time on being on time and following my routine that maybe I forgot to have fun. I take care of everyone and everything else and I do not practice enough self care. Do you practice self  care? Are you a planner or a routine person? How do you go about your day?  How do you plan things out? Do you use a calendar? Do you put things in your phone? I put things in my phone and I write them down.  I believe in always having a back up. Either way at least everything gets done each and every day.  I am mentally tired and sometimes I feel like I am handling to much. It is okay I would not feel right asking someone else. It is my responsibility to get things done. It is just how it is. Now onto the next life lesson.

Everything happens for a reason

I believe everything happens for a reason. I think certain things are just meant to happen.   Certain people are meant to cross paths, certain moments are lived, I cannot explain it but I know in my heart I believe it.  I believe in fate and destiny. I believe lessons are learned when we do not even realize it. I believe in love at first site. I believe that certain people when they meet they just know they are meant to be.  I think that is also the writer in me.  Do you believe in love at first site? Do you believe things happen for a reason? Do you think certain people are just meant to be? Do you believe in fate? What do you believe? I prefer people meet the old fashioned way instead of the internet. There is no mystery no real connection. It is really not what I would do. I am glad back in the day we did not have all this social media life was simple and we met people by chance.  It was fun. Do not get me wrong social media has some good to it just not enough to make it so great.  I get to have my blog so that is a plus. Let me know what you think. Now onto the next life lesson.

The mail

Remember writing letters in the mail? Did you ever have a pen pal? I have I used to love writing letters. It was so much fun.  I loved getting letter in the mail. The person took time out of their busy schedule to write me a letter or send me a card.  Those were the good old days. I was just telling my oldest how we did not have social media we played outside, we talked to each other. we went over each others house . we went to the movies , if we needed a phone we carried change and used a payphone.  You want to know a secret we survived and we were happy. We had a better way of growing up.  I miss those days? Do you remember those days? What era did you grow up in? What was it like? Sure we had our share of problems but it was fun and we made the most of everything. One of things I love about my neighborhood is the kids play outside. I remember telling my dad this and he said they are disciplined. (Military families) Makes sense I guess. It was true they were. I like that.  Maybe that was one of the reasons I played outside that and not to hear my parents yelling or my mom and brother yelling.  I miss being a kid when it comes to the fun stuff but I would not want to re live some of the pain.  Now everyone wants everything yesterday! Everyone is in such a hurry and for what? Time is precious do not waste it.  How do you spend your time? How did you grow up? Did you love to get mail? Now we get bills. I think for one week we should try to live like how we did when I was growing up write letters to our friends, no phones except house phones or pay phones and playing outside and doing stuff like we did back then. I do not think many kids would survive.  Right now I am giving my daughter a break from social media. She has not been on it in about a week and a day.  She is learning to adapt and do other things.  I just want what is best for my kids. I love them and they are everything to me. So next time you get a card in the mail smile and appreciate it send one back. It is fun getting stuff in the mail. Now onto the next life lesson.

Grown ups

We all start out as babies of course and grow our way to adulthood.  It is called life. A long the way we encounter people some are good and some are not so good. Others are just extras like in a movie they just come and go in our lives. It is our family and how they treat us that sets the tone for getting along. As you can imagine from my other blogs and what I have described as to what my childhood was like. It was not so wonderful.  We had no financial problems they were all emotional.  For the first time I felt like an equal to my brother . I sent him an  email asking how the playing of the taps went for my father. I think he described it perfectly not only did he do that he did it from a grown man to a grown woman.  He even took everyone out to lunch. (That was something LOL) Now to being serious he went to see our brother and described how old he had gotten he did not remember him but at least he went.  He not only saw him he went to pay respects to our mom and for the first time ever he called her that in my email. It was the best thing I had ever received from him. It  felt like he was actually sending it to his grown sister.  I cried and maybe now he found peace. I am not going to ask but that is what my gut tells me. He even left empty seats for my Dad and M to sit. Interestingly enough I had dreamed of them Friday going into Saturday almost forgetting about this whole thing.  I believe they paid me a visit to let me know everything will be okay and we are together.  That is what a very wise best friend said. It was very emotional. I was glad that he had done that and followed my Dad’s wishes. I just wish I could have been there. He did not know that my parents were buried near each other and I was not going to mention it.  In some strange way my brother found some peace in all of this.  I know my Dad was there with M. I could feel it in my gut.  Maybe afterwards he joined them at his old favorite Diner and had his corned beef hash. RIP Dad and M. RIP. Now onto the next life lesson.

Yes, God answers prayers

I was never really religious growing up but as I got older I believed more and more in God.  God has answered a lot of my prayers and lately there is one that seems to be stuck.  He has answered other prayers lately and for that I am grateful. I just need this one prayer to be answered. I feel like it is hanging over my head. I know God is always listening and I know he has a plan.  I do not go to temple or anything I haven’t in years but I do thank god every day and I believe in him. I do not think it matters where I am as long as I do it. I remember my brother saying something to me and probably the most genuine things he has ever said to me was God is anywhere you want him to be. I will never forget that. He does not even believe in God now for some strange reason but that is his choice and I will not say anything about that. I know God exists I have seen prove in my own prayers.  If you believe than I am proud if you do not that is okay but I think right now at this moment in time he needs more believers I think some have forgotten him.  When life is not so great God is there. He will pick you up and guide you. All you have to do is believe . So simple I think.  Just remember to every once in awhile Think GOD. I remember that was in a movie OH God he reached out to a little girl and her and her friends sent out their message THINK GOD. If  I may say so THINK GOD. Now onto the next life lesson.

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